Child hatred is so common we never notice it
It is not that some parents do not know how to love, there is actually an undercurrent of child hate and prejudice in our culture. Looking back at the history of children it is not hard to pick up the threads. Children have been battered, sexually molested and abused horribly in the past. The prejudice and hatred is so widespread I find it curious that we have no word for child hater. We have one for woman hater.
Here is an interesting critique of one of the leading parenting magazines:
It warmed my heart yesterday to see all the wonderful feedback I got on Ten Ways To Confuse a Child. I am often upset by the hypocrisy and the double standards inflicted by adults on kids. But yesterday was a good day. A lot of people agreed with me. That made me feel good about the world.
And then my sister-in-law sent me this article, republished from this month’s issue of Parents magazine, called 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9. Brace yourselves. I have picked out some of the “manners” that were confusing or otherwise bothered me. And here they are, with my responses:
Manner #3 Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
What makes an emergency? How does a child know when grown-ups are “finished” talking? Will it be like listening for microwave popcorn to be done, 1-2 seconds between responses? And why don’t children deserve this same courtesy? Adults have no problem interrupting children.
Manner #5 When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.
I guess this might be good advice for the child whose parents gives him “hours of grief” about things he has done without permission. I wouldn’t really call this one a manner though. Also, remember, it is usually easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Hours of grief may be a price worth paying if it means the child has already gotten to do what he wants.
Manner #6 The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
This is a joke, right? Never complain to adults? How about this one: don’t talk to anyone who isn’t interested enough in you to care about your dislikes. If anything, adults should take their own advice here, and stop complaining about kids so much.
Manner #7 Do not comment on other people’s physical characteristics unless, of course, it’s to compliment them, which is always welcome.
Wow, great rule. So as long as it’s a compliment, it’s ok? Is it always welcome to tell a woman she has nice breasts? And I can’t even count the number of times I have heard adults openly insult a child’s physical appearance, laughing at the way the his hair looks, or how his ears or his belly stick out, or anything else. Adults, please check yourselves on this one first.
Manner #13 Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.
Another joke, I’m assuming. If grown-ups find these words so boring and unpleasant, then why do they say them so much? Hey grown-ups, maybe don’t use foul language in front of kids if you don’t like it??
Continue reading here: http://demandeuphoria.blogspot.com/2011/05/when-child-hater-writes-parenting.html
There is definitely a double standard when it comes to people interacting with children. Not only are some people free with their hands, but they are also entirely too free with their mouths. At some level, maybe adults fear children because they cannot relate to them and we see from reading comments to this thread that many parents fear losing their authority unless they act aggressively towards their children at all times. Some parents think they must never let the facade drop.
Parents must learn at a deep level the importance of respecting their children even though children are lacking in all the refinements and knowledge of adults. Hey, they just arrived on the planet, cut them some slack! I suppose we have progressed somewhat. At least we no longer bury children alive in the foundations of our buildings for good luck.
Use them as soldiers? OK. Use them for sexual gratification? OK. Use them as slave labor? OK.
I think humans have a very long way to go before we can say we do more than pay lip service to the rights of our children.
To All Religious Teenagers
Reblog from YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RkbDUc9HBA&NR=1
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