- Image by thelastminute via Flickr
Forum participant says:
“It is impossible to live with people, be raised by people, love people, and not be influenced by them.”
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I agree with that and I don’t think I have said anything to the contrary. Influencing is one thing, a raw exercise in parental power is something else. If the reforms I am groping towards come about, I assert it can only help strengthen familial bonds. I say this because the parent child relationship will be built on a stronger foundation when it does not start off on an unethical basis. Parents who understand their children as persons and not modeling clay will treat them much differently. Children will have less reason to view their parents as despots.
A gay child should be totally comfortable announcing how they feel to their parents. A child who does not believe in god, should likewise have the confidence to say this to their devout parents and others. Or tell them they have a mysterious outbreak on their genitals that is painful or tell them that they think their girlfriend is pregnant. You get the idea. Openness. Honesty. Bonds of confidence are built on a basis of equality and mutual respect, not inequality.
I think this change can only come about once superstition and magical thinking are disposed of finally as inappropriate guides to living our lives and we begin to see children in a new light. They are individuals we share genes with, and possibly even personality traits. The important fact is that children have their own thoughts, ambitions, and desires that must be honored. Like the book I referenced earlier says: “Whose Childhood is This?
The adults I most admired and listened to as a child were the ones that admired and listened to me. Moreover, they demonstrated in word and deed the qualities that any good friend has. They were a patient sounding board that always stood ready to help me achieve a goal or explore alternatives with me. Nothing I said or did could shock them or make them reject me. There were no blasphemous questions my little mind could dream up that my mouth could not utter. There was nothing heretical I could possibly say that might offend the gods. That is freedom. Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
No relationship that starts out based on an unethical exercise in parental power is ever going to be as good as a relationship that starts out on a basis of fairness and honesty.
| Posted on Saturday, June 20th, 2009 at 8:13 pm in Childhood Indoctrination, Children's rights. | |
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